The Summer Cycle 4-26-2011

by Kurt Klettner

        Life is filled with cycles that come in many different forms and can bring about a variety of changes and challenges.  In both nature and college we are approaching the end of the spring semester and the beginning of the summer cycle; a time that often brings with it an opportunity to start anew. 

        Those of you who are preparing to take that long awaited walk of achievement that results in your receiving a degree or formal completion of an academic program are at the beginning of a new cycle in your life that will be marked by an accomplishment that is forever yours to take pride in.  Others who are preparing to take the summer off from college may be taking advantage of the opportunity to work so as to replenish bank accounts, spend time with children or possibly take some time to travel and have fun.  Still others are preparing to use this summer cycle to take classes and thus get a few more credits entered on their transcript.

        A change in life cycles can have a significant affect our emotional and mental wellbeing.  Depression, for example, can run in cycles.  In the case of those who may suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), the increase in sunshine found in the summer cycle can bring much desired relief from feelings of depressions.  Certain times of the year, such as holidays, can spark an emotional response.  Participating in summer related activities can allow for a diversion which may temporarily lesson feelings of depression; while other traditional summer activities such as family reunions and having the children at home all summer can add to the stress factor.   

        I hope that you have a joyful, relaxing, productive and safe summer; however in the event you find yourself desiring counseling support you may contact the Student Counseling Center during regular office hours throughout the summer semester and we will arrange for a time for you and I to talk.

Being a Couple 4-12-2011

by Kurt Klettner

Initially getting together is often relatively simple.  Some couples start out as a result of a chance encounter; while for others it may have taken weeks before the courage was found to ask the other out.   In some instances the relationship may blossom from the roots of a friendship, while others speak of experiencing “love at first sight”.  Regardless of how a relationship begins, the transformation into “being a couple” is a process that involves personal attention.

     The foundation of a stable and long-term relationship begins with identifying those core values that are shared.  Building the relationship requires the infusion of respect and dignity and a support of individuality while simultaneously making deliberate decisions to share experiences that can ultimately create a unique history that serves to strengthen and form two individuals into a “couple’. 

     Being a couple is not always easy.  It is important to understand that all couples can encounter challenging episodes that test the ultimate maturity of the relationship.  These seemingly negative experiences can actually result in a source of growth if both persons are willing to endure the discomfort and make the effort to address the issues.  In some instances the situation may require support from someone outside of the relationship, such as a counselor. 

    The personal value of the relationship will determine the degree to which each person will invest in being a couple.  Couples who are experiencing a healthy relationship find value in being with each other as together they generally feel stronger, happier, and more at peace.

Going Back to the Past for a Healthier Future--BY KURT KLETTNER

by Kurt Klettner

Have you ever given much thought to the concept of time travel; in particular going back into your past?   Before you rebuff the idea as only a topic for sci-fi movies, I would ask that you consider just how much time you still spend dealing with issues (i.e. prior decisions, the memory of events, etc.) that occurred in your past.  Unless you suffer from amnesia, for better or worse, the life you live today is deeply rooted in your past.   

     Your past can be a source of positive energy, as well as a vacuum that seemingly sucks the joy out of your present day experiences.  Reflecting back on the past can assist you in making better decisions in the present as well as providing positive energy that drives you towards new goals, especially when faced with unexpected challenges.  Unresolved issues, on the other hand, are often at the root of emotional pain that can keep you looking back to the past and unable to truly focus on the future.  Have you ever tried running a race backwards?  You may be moving in the right direction; however your pace will be much slower, it is harder to keep your eyes on your goal and the chances of stumbling increase tremendously. 

If unresolved issues, painful memories or just unpleasant past experiences in general are holding you back, distracting you from your goals or causing you to feel out of balance, then I ask that you consider if working with a counselor is of value to you.  Taking the emotional journey back in time can be a challenging task. The key is to learn from your past without dwelling in it.  Sometimes you may find strength and comfort in choosing not to do it alone, but rather to allow for a professional guide (aka counselor) to help you explore your past so as to experience the peace of mind and heart that you deserve.

Healthy Relationships~by Kurt Klettner 2/8/11

by Kurt Klettner

Valentine’s Day is soon approaching.  Symbolically this day presents a wonderful opportunity to get to the heart of our more intimate relationships.  Intimate relationships may take on different forms.  While many close relationships may be strictly friendships; others may include a more physical level of attraction; while still others may start out as a friendship and evolve into “love.” 

                         Regardless of what form a relationship may take, it is important for you to remember that for any relationship to be healthy it must be based upon mutual respect and dignity.  

            Healthy relationships are relatively easy to spot, as they are often a source of strength, happiness and peace brought about by a willingness to share. However, even healthy relationships require a continued effort to sustain.  Without positive attention relationships can weaken. Selfishness and disrespect, in any of its many different forms, are destructive forces that can eventually fracture a relationship.

            If your relationship changes to where it no longer is healthy, you have a personal responsibility to take action.  Action begins with a self-evaluation of the current situation and the identification of a desired outcome.  The next step is to open your mind to exploring what it will take to heal and strengthen a relationship that is important to you.  In some situations you may find a benefit from pursuing education by way of workshops, seminars, lectures, books and articles that can provide new insights into dealing with difficult times.  If the outlook regarding the survival of an important relationship appears grim, then engaging in counseling may be a valuable decision in an effort to restore balance and good health.